Hi, I’m Tshepiso — and I’m stuck. I’m 28. Well, technically 29 in a few weeks — but who’s counting? I thought I should start this on a note of honesty and transparency. I’m stuck. Working a job I don’t like, running businesses that refuse to take off, and juggling debts that keep me up at night.
It’s not even that much debt by the world’s standards — a personal loan, a credit card, and a clothing account — but for me, it’s a lot. It feels heavy. It feels like failure.
So, here I am. Writing to you.
Tag, You’re It.
I’m sharing my life and financial journey publicly because, truthfully, I need accountability. I don’t have close friends right now, so congratulations — you’ve just been nominated as my accountability partner. Tag, you’re it.
This isn’t just a blog. It’s a diary, a confession, a reset button. Writing, for me, is a way of finally admitting that I’ve reached the part of adulthood where I can’t “wing it” anymore.
The Cost of Cruising Through Life
For most of my twenties, I was cruising — living without a plan, assuming things would fall into place because “God will provide.”
But here’s the reality: faith without structure is chaos. I didn’t manage my money well, I didn’t build a career path, and I didn’t prepare for anything. I’m 29, and I can honestly say I’ve achieved very little.
This year — my final year in my twenties — is my shot at redemption. My goals are simple but heavy:
- Get out of debt.
- Find a high-paying, fulfilling job.
- Build sustainable, successful businesses.
- Enjoy life.
That’s it. That’s the plan.
Holding God Accountable
Before you raise your eyebrows — hear me out. I’ve decided that I’m holding God accountable. He made me, He placed me here, and He surely didn’t intend for me to struggle endlessly.
I’ve realized that prayer isn’t just about asking for things — it’s about partnership. If I’m doing my part, I expect God to meet me halfway. After all, even faith needs follow-through.
The Fear of Staying the Same
Sometimes I wonder what scares me more: failing again or staying in this same spot for another 28 years. Poverty isn’t just about money — it’s about feeling powerless. And that’s the part that’s eating me alive.
I avoid the word “poor” because it makes everything too real. “Broke” feels lighter, easier to fix. But truth be told, being broke at 29 feels like being stuck in emotional quicksand.
Blocked Memories, Buried Feelings
If you asked me to share a happy childhood memory, I wouldn’t know where to start. I’ve blocked out so much — maybe as a form of protection. Maybe it’s trauma. Maybe it’s fear.
What I do know is that I’ve spent years ignoring the deeper parts of myself that need healing. And maybe that’s where the real change starts — not just fixing my finances, but fixing me.
Becoming the Man I Want to Be
This year isn’t just about money. It’s about transformation. I want to become:
- A man with a stable career.
- A man who builds successful businesses.
- A man of faith and purpose.
- A man who’s a loving husband and father (not there yet, but there is this one girl 😅 — God knows the rest).
I want to look back at 29 and say, “That’s when it all changed.”
When the Thoughts Get Dark
Let’s be real — sometimes, the darkness feels close. I’m not suicidal, but I often wonder what my existence means. If I disappeared tomorrow, would anyone notice? Would it matter?
I know those thoughts aren’t healthy, but they’re honest. And maybe, by writing about them, I can stop them from owning me. Because despite everything, I still have hope.
The Start of Something Real
This post was supposed to be about my financial journey, but clearly, it became something deeper. Maybe that’s what I needed.
So here’s my promise to you — and to myself:
I’m giving this last year of my twenties everything I’ve got. My faith, my work, my heart.
If I fail, at least I’ll fail trying.
If I win… then maybe this whole “being stuck” thing was just the setup for a comeback.